• I think that I am having a butt workout and I have been doing better with this hiking business.
  • Mallory is a real dummy. Eileen is too stupid to believe she is soo stupid (not to mention, a whiny). Kyle is extra sweet, Janice….AND SWEETIE Jared is precious.
  • I’m telling these Mallory and Eileen kids they are going to swimming lessons and they are real excited. But I am actually revolted by the idea. Even though no one with open cuts or diarrhea are allowed, I am definitely not going to let them go to swimming lessons. Public pools make me puke.
  • I wish I could wear woman shoes, but that would be a bad influence on my kids.
  • Anyway, I am glad you are all alive and well, bless you, and let you live a long life. Sealing my motherhood, friendship and love, kindness, and protection, bless you all in peace.


It’s been 6 years since Mallory wrote the above article.  She was 8 years old and trying out her creative talents in her family newsletter.  It was from a column in the newsletter in which she impersonated me. The newsletter has since disappeared but not Mallory’s flair for the provocative.

She turns 14 today and in my books that’s when one becomes a REAL teenager.  Pray for me as I become the mother of teenagers, the second time around.


Happy 14th Birthday, Mallory!

Other articles by Mallory you may enjoy:

Some things to help you plan your next party.
Wilton Decorating Cakes Book                Diane Warner's Big Book of Parties
Oh the joys of motherhood,

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