Girls

The other day while shopping at a sporting goods store, I encountered a young couple purchasing ice auger blades. They reminded me of why boys get married and the devices they must use to achieve their desires. Upon finding his choice of mate, it is only natural for a young man to forsake all others, and to love, honor, and cherish his chosen. Most of all, he hopes to share this adventure called life. Together they will go to his special places, and participate in his special activities. Surprise! Sometimes the other party has ideas of her own.

I’ll tell this story from the male perspective, as I make no claim to understand the other view. There are many that will gladly tell you, in detail, the other side, so I won’t begin to try.

Once while meeting with a purchasing agent, we listened to his female assistant ranting about doing more than her share of work. In response he informed me, “They’re not like us.”

I’ve often given a pet turkey credit for teaching me about women. Each time I exited the kitchen door, Turkey would violently attack me. I came to realize that this was just her way of greeting me. With no malice intended, she just attacked because she was a turkey.

The young man at the store had just taken his bride on her first ice fishing adventure in sub zero temperatures on a wind swept lake. He provided her with a heated ice hut, all his excess clothing, and fished in only his sweatshirt. This wise man had learned to bargain.

Although one may say that I have a ways to go, I also have learned many tricks of the trade. Early on I learned that camping requires bathrooms. Using my Boy Scout skills, I once fashioned an excellent latrine. I’m still proud of the lashed seat and privacy tarp, but found it not up to girl specifications.

Girls are a wary lot. With due diligence one may find that they can drag them out to the woods, deserts, mountains, subject them to heat, cold, biting insects, and large predators. After enough time, they may discover the purpose was not to torture them, but to enrich their lives. Sadly, some girls allow their husbands to do man things while they limit themselves to girl things. This is not what most guys envisioned. Allow this to continue, and one day the boy will find himself taking cruises, gambling, eating at buffets, and shopping at duty free shops.

While canoeing on a beautiful mountain lake, I observed two couples also on the lake. The men struggled against a stiff wind while the women sat in the front of their boats, paddle-less and doing nothing. I could only imagine what these boys had hooked up with. My criticism was abated when Sweet Mom observed that they were at least there. Now I realize that each is different, the shrews, and the shrew tamers. Some have a hard road, but to give up is defeat.

At the check out of the sporting goods store, the young man bought a pack of hand warmers. He knows what he is doing.

©12/17/08