The strange things began when my adopted “mother”, Eileen, wrapped a robe sash around my body and began walking me on a leash around the house. I obliged, but only because she rewarded my efforts with my favorite kitty treats. I knew something was truly amiss when she pinned pieces of old blue jean fabric in to a vest type thing on me. I wasn’t human, nor would I wear a jacket. I didn’t know what she was thinking. Luckily it didn’t last too long, and Eileen removed the vest and went to bed. I decided that she was just being a little crazy, and her sanity had returned.
The next day I found out I was wrong. Once again she pinned the fabric on me, took it off, and went to the sewing machine with it. After putting her foot on the lever and making that loud noise, she put it back on me. The process continued. At last, she appeared satisfied with the harness, as she called it, and put it on me once again. Only this time was different. This time she attached a rope to a loop on the back of the confounded harness.
She carried me down the stairs to the back door, and put me outside. I couldn’t believe it… was she really just going to let me out after all this time? It appeared that she was, so I decided to make the most of it, and began munching on the grass. It wasn‘t until a few minutes later that I realized the rope was attached to her, so she had control over where I went. There was nothing I could do about it, so I continued grazing and exploring the small area near the door.
I wasn’t used to all the sights, smells, and sounds of the outdoors. Our separation had been long, and our reuniting sudden. It wasn’t long before the screams of the neighboring kids jumping on their trampoline took their toll on me and I wanted to go inside. Anyway, what if one of my old friends or even worse, one of my enemies saw me in this thing? They would all laugh. Luckily, Eileen obeyed my commands and let me in.
But it still wasn’t over. She decided to take me out front instead. That was even worse. The cars were louder than I remembered, but the worst was the people passing my house. I must say I’m not very much of a people lover. After trying to run into the backyard, I was finally let back in. For the day.
That evening, my leash was handed to the other male in the house. I must say I don’t like men very much, they’re just too much competition. I quickly escaped out of the back of my harness. Little did I know that it would lead to the addition of a butt flap, along with a tail hole. At first it was awful to get into, but Eileen figured out a way to get me into the harness pain free. Of course there are bad things to the butt flap as well… Whenever I want to do my business someone needs to rush to my rescue. Guess what, today I was left in the harness, and the urge to urinate came over me. So I went to the litter box like a good little cat, but no one was there to help me get out of it. It’s not my fault that they need to wash the harness. Not my fault at all.
Who knows what will follow in my adventures with the harness… all I know is that I definitely won’t walk on the leash. That would be so, for lack of a better word, dogly.
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